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Next Time Bring Flash Cards
Dec. 16th, 2025 05:00 pm![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
notalwaysright_feedRead Next Time Bring Flash Cards
Me: "Hi, I'd like a meal five."
Employee: *Blank stare.*
Me: "That's a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit."
Employee: "You want cheese on that?"
notalwaysright_feed
Has ID, Still No Idea, Part 7
Dec. 16th, 2025 04:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Has ID, Still No Idea, Part 7
A woman places a single can of beer on the counter.
Me: "Can I see some ID, please?"
She has her ID in her hand, but she doesn't show it to me. Instead, she slurs her words, saying:
Customer: "Where… where did I put it?"
VIP = Very Ignored Person
Dec. 16th, 2025 03:30 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead VIP = Very Ignored Person
Me: "You did remember to order for [Sister], right? The whole reason people are here?"
A Pleasant Discover-y
Dec. 16th, 2025 02:30 pmnotalwaysright_feed
I see an email from Discover Card saying my replacement credit card was on its way because it has been reported lost/stolen.
I think, "That's strange, I don't remember doing that. Is this a phishing email?"
Sadly Common Withdrawal Symptoms
Dec. 16th, 2025 02:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead Sadly Common Withdrawal Symptoms
Customer: "Why do you need that!? I have my bank card! Everyone here knows me!"
Me: "I don't know who you are, so I need to see it."
Customer: "Well, I don't know who you are, and I'm not wanting to see your ID!"
(no subject)
Dec. 16th, 2025 01:45 pmnotalwaysright_feedJust read the taxi ride roundup. A couple of decades ago when I traveled regularly, I was on an emergency work trip that involved a couple of airplane changes. Things went wrong and I ended up missing a couple of flights, but eventually got to destination city just as the airport was closing for the […]
(no subject)
Dec. 16th, 2025 12:45 pmnotalwaysright_feedMany companies require you to register, to see what they offer and at what prices. We registered with one, and after looking into it, decided that they had nothing to offer us (our business). So I hit the “Unsubscribe” button on their regular email. I hit that button on their their next 3-4 emails, and […]
Not Ready For Cake-Off
Dec. 16th, 2025 12:00 pmnotalwaysright_feed
Me: "I'm sorry, your order won’t be ready until 10 AM."
Customer: "Well, I want to pick it up now, since I am already here."
Me: "It's not ready yet. The cake decorator won't be in until 8 AM."
Customer: "I want to pick it up now."
Yes, But Only The Letter ‘E’
Dec. 16th, 2025 10:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead Yes, But Only The Letter ‘E’
I was at the Info desk during the rollout of the proprietary e-reader and was wearing a "eReader Certified" badge.
An old lady came up to ask a question, saw the badge, stopped mid-sentence, and said:
The Arc Of History Is Long, But This Historical Table Isn’t
Dec. 16th, 2025 08:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead The Arc Of History Is Long, But This Historical Table Isn’t
Customer: "I would like to order this table, but four inches longer."
Me: "Ma'am, we aren't sourcing our European antiques from a workshop, you know? I can refer you to someone who could build a reasonable facsimile to your specifications, but there's literally no way for me to order what you want."
Read The Arc Of History Is Long, But This Historical Table Isn’t
It’s All Dutch To Me, Part 4
Dec. 16th, 2025 04:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead It’s All Dutch To Me, Part 4
Me: "Not all our employees speak English very well, I'm afraid."
Caller: "Why?"
Me: "...Well, English has been a mandatory language at schools for only thirty years or so. The older generation does the best they can, but it is more complicated to learn a new language as you get older."
Caller: "Then send them back to school!"
They Were Complete Gentlemen About It
Dec. 16th, 2025 02:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead They Were Complete Gentlemen About It
Me: "Hi! How can I help you, gentlemen?"
They gasp dramatically.
Customer: "Well, nothing now that you called us that awful word."
You’re Hired!
Dec. 16th, 2025 01:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead You’re Hired!
Manager: "I’m afraid we’re not offering you the position of department manager. It’s generally not seen as professional to crack jokes instead of answering questions at the interview."
Read You’re Hired!
Gotta Be Careful When Crossbreeding Dad Jokes
Dec. 16th, 2025 12:00 amnotalwaysright_feedRead Gotta Be Careful When Crossbreeding Dad Jokes
Aquarium Staff: "And it’s these adaptations that make the crab such an effective predator. In fact, there’s a consensus among biologists that several routes of evolution all develop towards a crab."
My dad, the long-suffered prankster, raises his hand.
The Traffic Jam Started In The Bedroom
Dec. 15th, 2025 11:00 pmnotalwaysright_feedRead The Traffic Jam Started In The Bedroom
Boss: "[Coworker], why are you late?"
Coworker: "I had trouble with my car."